Ah the holidays. I can’t believe they’re almost here. No really…I can’t believe it! I don’t know if it’s that “the older you get the faster time flies” or if it has something to do with being so busy with the kids and jobs. This year instead of joy and excitement I feel a sense of dread.

I want to be able to give my children everything they ask for, for them to be content and stuffed full of food and happy with the Christmas booty they’ve received, but what am I teaching them? That Christmas is that terrible monster of greed that leaves one worked up and always unsatisfied?

Why is it that even when they get what they’ve asked for there’s always that sense of disappointment after all the presents are unwrapped? It’s like we’ve built this thing up so much that we can’t help but be let down. Why must we stuff ourselves silly on Thanksgiving and why must I empty my bank account on Christmas?

I’ve been missing something these past few years. I’m still new at the parenting thing in some respects. After all this will only be my fourth year celebrating Christmas as a parent. I think that I’ve gotten so wrapped up in trying to make it a satisfying holiday that I’ve forgotten to actually sit down and enjoy it with them. So this year instead of trying to fill the space in my belly or under the Christmas tree I think I’ll try to fill the space in my children’s hearts and make the holidays a special day for me to enjoy with them. Yes, of course we’ll have food and presents but those things will be a side note to sharing time with the people I love most in this world.