Hey, Dan and Roy, We’ve got “American” Jobs for the Taking!

Rev. David L. Ostendorf • Apr 15, 2009

Hey, Dan Stein and Roy Beck, America knows how concerned you are about American jobs being gifted to immigrants, especially during these days of high unemployment and economic collapse!

Your outstanding record of support for American workers and organized labor is lauded coast-to-coast, and we’re certain you’ll soon begin supporting the Employee Free Choice Act, as well. And, we’re especially amazed by your alleged support of African American workers in their historic struggle for economic justice.

That’s right! Solidarity Forever!!

Your quotes in last week’s New York Times — one of your favorite newspapers! — certainly caught our attention. You were especially on target, Roy, when you said that “It just doesn’t seem rational that any political leader would say, ‘let’s give millions of foreign workers permanent access to US jobs’ when we have millions of Americans looking for jobs.”

It’s going to be, ‘You’re letting them keep that job, when I could have that job’.”

Well, Dan and Roy, fret no more! There ARE jobs for American workers all across this great land. And we know you’re ready to pitch in to help Americans land those jobs. Right?

Meatpackers and poultry processors need line workers every day. Most of the packinghouses have extremely high turnover rates and are constantly looking for workers. Yes, the work is very dangerous. Yes, workers may have to relocate to some remote, rural areas of the South or Midwest. And yes, a lot of immigrants are indeed filling these jobs, but with a little effort we’re positive that you and your organizations could help recruit AMERICANS to fill them.

Wages in these positions are not exactly at the East Coast metro level you’re used to, but a job is a job. Right?

But wait, those jobs don’t appeal to you’re cultured sensibilities? Well, there’s more! Wisconsin dairy farmers are in dire need of workers to milk cows. Their need is so desperate that they’ve already had to hire some 5,000 immigrants for these jobs. And to top it off, they’re being clear about the fact that they just can’t find Americans to hire.

Who would have thought?

Well, we’re relying on you both, Dan and Roy, to help these dairy farmers identify AMERICANS, so we can enjoy our AMERICAN milk and cheese! It may be a little rough at first, you know, getting used to working six day weeks and not having much time off, but a job is a job. Right?

Still not tickling your fancies? Hmm, well, there are tens of thousands of restaurant jobs everywhere you turn: dishwashers, runners, bar backs, cooks, valets, table bussers. The list is endless for America’s largest private sector employers—the restaurant industry, which already employs hundreds of thousands of immigrants among its millions of workers. But believe us when we tell you, there is plenty of room for AMERICAN workers here as well! The hours and working conditions and wages are not top drawer, but a job….


So, what do you say, Dan and Roy?

Are you ready to have the Federation of American Immigration Reform (FAIR) and NumbersUSA contract some busses in DC, Detroit, Chicago, and LA to transport unemployed AMERICANS to these jobs? Or, you might start recruiting in Janesville, Wisconsin, where thousands of unemployed auto workers live in relative proximity to the aforementioned dairy farms.

Either way, we expect to see ample notice of these jobs soon on your websites, to read about them in your press releases, to hear about them in your fiery speeches, and perhaps to find you promoting them in an advertisement set out in the barnyard.

After all, it’s time for YOU to convince Americans to fill immigrant jobs! Best of luck!

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